Four Seasons
by Speedster at Heart
Summary: Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon's rollercoaster of love, in just four seasons, and fifteen years. A winter of beginning, a spring of hint, a summer of bruises and a fall of trust.
1. Winter

**Four Seasons**

**Chapter 1: Winter**

"Master Bruce, he's only at nine years of age. He needs more than support."

"Yes, I know."

"Right now, he needs a father figure, not a mentor."

"Alfred, the criminal who killed my parents was never brought to justice. That's a burden I won't let Dick carry for the rest of his life."

Dick Grayson moved away from the door he'd been listening through and sat against the wall. He frowned and shook his head.

_Not only is Bruce Wayne the Batman, but he cares about me too?_

He felt like he was supposed to smile. But he couldn't. How could he when his parents just died yesterday? Everything was like a blur. One minute, he was standing on the trapeze platform, reaching out to grab hold of his mother's hands. The next, the were on the ground, not breathing with their eyes shut. And now, he was in Wayne Manor, one of the finest places in Gotham City. It was all too much for him to handle. And to top it off, Batman had found himself a partner. Him. Dick wasn't sure if he could handle it, but he wanted to bring Gotham to justice, just as he will when he gets his hands on Tony Zucco.

"Master Richard?"

Dick looked up to see the butler standing next to him. Alfred gave him a weak smile as he nodded his head towards the door.

"Master Bruce is a little tied up in his work. Do you want me to take you on a walk outside?" he said as he grabbed Dick's new coat.

Dick shook his head and retrieved his coat.

"No, it's okay. I'll go on my own thanks."

"Are you sure? You've only been in Gotham for less than a week."

"I'll manage thanks."

Dick nodded and made his way outside, where all he could see was white. It had been snowing this morning, and the midday sun was hidden behind the grey sky. He sighed as we walked down the path and unlocked the front gate. Locking it one more, he proceeded in his walk.

Alfred was right. He'd only been in Gotham for less than a week, and only knew one other place well, other than the manor.

After a few minutes, Dick found himself standing in front of two gravestones, carved with the name of the only two people who could make him feel better at that moment.

"Hi mom. Hey dad."

He longed for a response from them. He wanted to feel their warm embrace again. He missed them more than enough to wish that he was dead too.

He felt his face, and looked at his fingers to see that they were wet. The sleeve of his coat was pulled longer in order for him to wipe away his bitter tears. Out of all the people in the world, why did this have to happen to them? Why them? Why now?

He couldn't bear it any longer. Full of grief, Dick left the cemetery, and began to wonder around the streets of Gotham with his head hung low. He didn't care about where he was going. He just wanted to be with his parents again. People around him looked down with pity, but he didn't notice their sorry expressions. He didn't care.

"Hey gloomy! Whatcha doing?"

Dick turned his head to see two boys about his age, running his way. One was chubby and short, with black curly hair that bounced as he 'waddled'. The other was tall and skinny with blonde hair and with a nose that looked like a fishing hook.

"Helloooo? Are you deaf? Greg, I think he's deaf!" asked the blonde one, sneering.

"I think he is, Ralph!" chuckled the chubby boy, knocking on Dick's head with sarcasm.

"CAN YOU HEAR ME?" Ralph yelled in his ear.

Dick flinched and pushed him away, and began to pick up his pace. Greg gasped.

"Is that how you wanna play? Huh?"

Ralph pushed him over, leaving him landing face first into the snow. The other two began to laugh at him, pointing and kicking snow at his head.

"I like this game!" shouted Greg.

Dick sat up steadily and frowned at the other two. He wanted to hit them, like he learnt when he was training. But he couldn't do it. Cowardly, he buried his face in his arms and prayed that they'd just stop and go away. He wished _everything_ would just go away.

"HEY! Leave him alone!"

Suddenly, the snow that spat on him seemed to stop, and there was a scowl.

"Aw man, it's the commish's kid." growled Ralph.

"The kid is everywhere we go!" muttered Greg.

Dick was still hiding in his arms, but he could still hear this 'commish's kid' coming this way. Was he some kind of gang leader? Was he going to hurt him?

"Did you hear me? I said leave him alone! Buzz off!"

Strangely, this 'gang leader' had a girly high pitched voice.

"What the hell is _her _problem?" scowled Ralph.

"We were just playin' with him!"

_Wait. Her? The commish__'__s kid…is a girl?_

"We better get going before she gives us a parking ticket or something."

There was a light thunder of running footsteps, as Dick slowly looked up from his cowardly embrace. In front on him, crouched a girl, about his age. She knelt down and brushed the snow from his hair. As she did, he studied her, careful that she wasn't looking at him.

The girl had red hair, that stood out from the white background. Her hair matched her orange woollen scarf, which seemed to be warm enough to heat up her rosy cheeks. She had a curious expression face, which lit up her green eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly as she brushed the last of the snow off his head.

Dick was speechless. As soon as her eyes met his, he pressed his lips together and looked away. He felt himself heat up, from cheeks down to toes.

_Who is this girl? And why is she being nice to me? We only just met._

"Shy type, huh? I understand. People are quiet around the commissioner's kid." the little girl sighed.

_Commissioner? Oh, right. __'__Commish__'__ is short for Commissioner…wait…does she mean Commissioner Gordon? The one who was investigating my parents death…_

"Where are your parents? They could be worried sick about you!" she said.

He clenched his jaws together, trying to hold back the tears that were begging to come out. The girl sat there, waiting for an answer to come out of this mysterious boy's mouth.

"My parents are dead." he said quietly.

The girl stared hard at him for a moment. He looked up to see her green eyes searching in his. They stared at each other. For what seemed like hours.

"You're Richard Grayson, aren't you?" she whispered.

"The circus boy who lost his parents yesterday. My dad is…I-I'm sorry…I'm a dumbo for asking."

Dick looked away and nodded. He had every urge to hide again. He felt so embarrassed, sitting in front of this stranger, looking like he was going to cry. He wished he was a turtle, so he could go and hide in his shell.

"Hey, don't be sad,"

He felt a cold hand resting on his cheek, as he looked up to see the girl smiling.

"Come and play with me! Then you'll be happy again!"

She stood up and reached out her hand to help him up. Dick hesitated.

_How can she be so happy and confident at a time like this? My parents are DEAD, and she wants to play? Didn__'__t she hear me before? What is her problem?_

He stared at her hand, then looked up to what made his eyes widen. She was _smiling._ The way his mother would when she saw him. The way she would when she meant, 'I care about you'.

_Maybe…the problem…is me?_

The moment Dick's fingers touched the palm of her hand, and she rolls hers over his, he felt like he'd been accepted. Like he _belonged_. For the first time in two days, he managed a smile. One that came with rosy cheeks and a glisten in his blue eyes.

"Hold on!"

"Whoa!"

The girl began to run, dragging Dick behind her, who began to stumble and awkwardly run. She began to giggle and laugh with joy as the two ran through the streets. The sky somehow seemed brighter than before, as if her smile lightened it up.

"You wanna go play at the park?" she called as she ran.

"I-I guess…we could…"

"Great!"

She turned around the corner, pulling Dick along with her until they reached the park, where the ground was blanketed with snow. They began to slow down to a walking pace, as they wandered around the area.

"Isn't it beautiful? This place is always so great during winter!" sighed the girl.

Dick looked at her, as she looked around. He smiled and squeezed her hand.

"It…it sure is."

They came to a stop, right under a snow-covered oak tree. She let go of his hand and stooped down to grab a handful of snow. He raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

"W-what are you doing?"

The girl stood up straight again, patting the snow she'd just retrieved. She gave him an ear-to-ear grin.

"Snowmen. I always made them with dad…when he wasn't so busy with work." she said with a frown.

She looked down at her feet awkwardly, looking a bit disappointed. But it soon became a smile when Dick put a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry. I'll help."

She smiled as she watched him gather snow with his hands, making a large sphere. He heard a giggle from her when he finished the bottom part of the snowman. The girl was laughing…at him?

"Great job! It… looks just like the size of your head…" she chuckled.

"Ha ha."

Dick threw a snowball at her shoulder, which made her gasp and throw one back at him. Soon, they'd started a rather large snowball fight, which ended moments later after one of them accidentally hit a passing old lady. So, they stuck to building the snowman, which was coming to a finish, with only the need of accessories.

"He needs buttons." said Dick.

"Yeah, Fred needs buttons."

"Fred?"

"Yeah, Fred the snowman! Who did you think it was?"

Dick put five rocks into the center of the snowman.

"What about the nose? Usually, people use a carrot, but we don't…"

He trailed off as soon as the girl stuck a twig into the head and two black rocks for the eyes.

"I think Fred's finished." she sighed.

"What should we do now?"

The girl looked surprised. One minute, he didn't even want to stand up. Next, he's asking her what they should do next?

"Let's make snow angels!"

He rolled his eyes as he watched her lay on the ground, waving her arms and legs sideways, making smooth shapes in the snow. They were being so childish and playful. So much, that it made him happy.

"Aren't you gonna join me?"

He grinned and made himself comfortable beside her. Soon, he began waving his arms and legs sideways as he stared up at the sky. As he did, he began to realize, for what seemed like hours, he'd forgotten about the grief of his dead parents.

_Mom…dad…I…I forgot all about them…and…I forgot that I was sad. Because I was too busy being…happy…seeing the world around me…all because of…_

Dick stopped making his snow angel and sat up. He gazed at the girl beside him. She seemed to be enjoying herself, and didn't notice that he was looking at her.

_She…took away the sadness…and opened the world to me…when I needed it most…I hope…_

"Thank you."

Dick's eyes widened. The girl smiled and looked at him.

"Thank you for playing with me. I know you were sad, but you came and played with me anyways. You're a great friend, Richard."

His cheeks felt like they were burning.

_She called me…her friend…_

"People…call me Dick. A-and…you shouldn't be thanking me. I should be thanking you, for everything…uh…"

"My name's Barbara,"

She sat up and grinned at him.

"Barbara Gordon. But my dad and friends call me Babs."

…_Barbara Gordon…Babs…_

Barbara took her scarf off and stood up before helping Dick up too.

"Hey, is that scarf for Fred?"

She raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"No silly! It's for you! You look cold."

Barbara wrapped the orange scarf around his neck. Though, the scarf wasn't the only thing that made Dick heat up.

"Master Richard! There you are!"

Alfred came running towards the two children, which was quite a sight, because neither of them have ever seen a butler run in the snow with a beanie on his head before. When he finally reached them, Alfred didn't seem shocked to see Barbara there with Dick at all.

"Ah, so I see you've met Miss Gordon. I'm sure you two have bonded quite well during this time."

"Hello, Alfred! Me and Dick were just playing." Barbara said pleasantly.

"And I see you have. No wonder Master Richard hasn't come home for lunch. The commissioner is worried about you too, Miss Gordon." said Alfred.

"Oh…he is?"

Barbara looked a little disappointed when she heard those words.

"Does that mean me and Babs have to stop playing?" asked Dick.

"I'm afraid that's affirmative. But I'm sure the commissioner will allow Barbara to come over to the manor when he has spare time."

Dick looked over at Barbara, whose face had lightened up again.

"Really? I'd like that!"

Alfred smiled, and nodded.

"Do you want a ride back to the Police Department?" he asked Barbara.

"No, it's okay. I know the way."

He nodded once more before bidding her farewell. Then, he led Dick back to the car. Just before he climbed in, he looked back at Barbara, who was turning around the corner of the street. She spotted him and waved a last goodbye before disappearing out of sight. The last memory he had of her at that moment, was her warm smile that melted any fragments of snow that laid in his path.

_I hope I meet her again. If Bruce is too busy, and Alfred's not around, I hope she's there. I hope she'll play with me, and make sure I'm smiling. I'll look forward to that next time. _

His cold hand reached up to feel the softness of the orange scarf around his neck, with the sweet strawberry shampoo scent of his new friend.

_Then again…when __is____next time…_


	2. Spring

**Four Seasons**

**Chapter 2: Spring**

"Happy birthday, Dick!"

"It was a great party!"

"Many wishes!"

"Thanks guys! Have a safe trip home now." Dick replied.

He sighed and waved his friends from high school goodbye. He had one of his biggest grins on his face. It was six years since he'd forgotten what sadness was. For six years, all he felt was pure bliss. The only weak spot in his life now was…failure. Whenever he failed the Batman, it was his fault. No one else's. _His._ But he soon uprose from that negativity, for there was a brighter path for him that joined the team. _Batgirl._

Not long ago, a budding young girl joined the team, seeking to fight crime and bring justice to Gotham, just like he and Batman were. And ever since then, Dick had been too busy daydreaming and dropping off focus. This meant more failure. More weakness. More bliss.

He knew who she was. And he was glad who it was, most pleased that it was her and no one else. Batgirl was…

"Babs! You're still here?"

When he'd turned around, he found himself gazing at a beaming Barbara Gordon. She'd grown in six years, but not enough to beat his shocking tallness. Even though she'd changed, one thing that hadn't, was her warm smile.

"Dad's not here to pick me up yet. So, I hope that you don't mind if I just sit on the porch and wait." she sighed.

"Of course not."

He watched as she exited the manor and seated herself on the steps. He was just about to close the door, when he took one last glance at her. She'd done so much for him, and yet, he was going to shut the door on her? Then he thought back to when they were little kids, when it was winter and she'd invited him to play. He remembered that she'd shown him happiness.

_I can't just let her sit there. She's all alone. And she'll be waiting here for a while, since the commissioner is on duty. _

"Mind if I join you?"

He closed the door behind him and sat next to her. She rolled her eyes and smirked.

"Alright, Dork Grayson. You can sit with me." she teasingly remarked.

"_Dork?_ Hey! Since when was I the one with the one with the bad nicknames?"

"Since always, _Dickie_."

"Alright, alright! Cut that out!" he said as he nudged his elbow against her arm.

She laughed and nudged him back. After a while, there was an awkward silence between them, as they both uncomfortably looked in opposite directions. Finally, Barbara decided to break the silence.

"Did you like my present?" she asked quietly.

"The snow globe?"

He pulled out a medium sized sphere out of his jacket pocket and shook it so the white fragments inside floated around. A grin sharpened on his lips as he stared at the snowman in the center as two little children played around it.

"I love it. Reminds me of the day we met. It's special to me."

"I knew you would, when I bought it. I thought immediately of that day."

"Which reminds me…that scarf you gave me…I forget every time…do you want it back?" Dick said suddenly.

She chuckled.

"Geez, took you long enough to realise you still had it,"

Dick blushed and looked embarrassed. Once again, Barbara smiled and put her hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay, you can keep it. I have a bunch of other scarves at home." she answered.

"Thanks."

He felt embarrassed, keeping a scarf that belonged to someone when they were nine. In fact, he felt kind of stupid. But Barbara didn't seem to care.

"I don't know how you do it." Dick said, out of the blue.

"Hmm?" she looked confused.

He inched a little closer to her as she turned her to head to face him.

"How do you do it? You give up so much, just to make others happy. And yet, you seem to have no problem with it. You're amazing, Babs."

"Dick, it's just a scarf."

"It's a little more than the scarf."

By now, Dick had moved right next to her, his right thigh touching her left. The only other thing that had changed, was his cheek colour.

"Well…I guess…it makes _me _happy seeing _others _happy. Happiness is not a feeling to me, Dick. It's a gift."

_There's something about her that makes me feel…strange…every time we meet…and…God…her eyes…_

As soon as Dick's gaze was met with hers, he began to slowly move his head closer to hers, getting more lost in her eyes every second. Barbara that his nose was only about five inches away from hers. The thought deepened the redness of her cheeks.

_Ever since he came to Gotham, I've had someone to hang around with when dad was busy. He was always there for me…always…so why haven't I noticed this feeling before…is it because…Spring is in the air? Don't be ridiculous…Babs…he's just…Dick…Grayson…_

Her eyelids lowered as she moved closer another inch.

…_Dick Grayson…what do you think you're doing? If Jane Harrison knew about this, she would totally get over her crush on me! Even if Barbara is friendly, smart…cute…and beautiful…smooth hair…gorgeous eyes…adorable dimples…_

Their lips were just about to meet, until they immediately pulled back by the sound of the turning door handle. Alfred stepped out, looking slightly curious, as to why the two were bright red and looking awkwardly in opposite directions.

"Uh…good evening, Master Richard, Miss Gordon," he started.

"Miss Gordon, I'm sure you had a pleasant time at Richard's fifteenth?"

"Y-yes…I did…i-it was…great…"

She gave Alfred a weak smile, before glancing at Dick, which was a big mistake, because once again, their eyes met, causing even more redness to their faces.

"Please excuse Master Richard; he needs to attend an important _meeting_ with Master Bruce, immediately." Alfred stated.

Dick's expression immediately changed to concern as he shot up and followed Alfred into the manor. He glanced back at Barbara, who nervously smiled back.

"Y-you don't mind, do you?" he asked.

"O-of course not…go ahead."

He nodded towards her direction before looking up at the night sky. The bat signal was shining, and he knew where he had to be. And he also knew where Barbara had to be as well. Dick smiled to himself as he closed the door and waited for a few seconds before opening it again, to find that Barbara was well and truly out of sight. The corner of his

lips sharpened even more as he made his way down the Bat Cave.

Batgirl sat on the edge of the roof top, waiting for the Batman. But little did she know about the Dark Knight's evening arrangements. She _never_ did.

"Batgirl?"

The young heroine spun around, expecting a dark shadowy figure to come out of the darkness. But her shoulders dropped as soon as she saw the colours of the traffic light appear.

"Oh…it's _you._" she said with annoyance.

"I'm glad to see that you're so _glad _to see me."

Robin smirked along with his sarcastic remark as he sat down beside her. She inched away a few centimetres before folding her arms.

"What? Do I have cooties now?"

"No, just a handful of nuisance."

"Naww, don't be like that, Babs."

Batgirl's eyes widen before clawing his leg with her fingernails. Enough though it was gloved, the attack was still effective. Robin winced in pain as she scowled and hissed.

"Don't ever call me by my real name. Boy, if I knew who _you_ really were, I swear…"

"Whoa, whoa_. Relax _pretty bird_, _I ain't giving up my identity to _anyone_…especially you."

Batgirl cursed him under her breath as he gave her a cheesy smile. Being Robin gave Dick a boost of confidence, unafraid to do anything. He felt that he could say and do anything, and get away with it without anyone knowing who _really _did it. And right now, he was picking on Barbara, who'd do anything to discover who was behind his domino mask right now.

"I hate you."

He smirked and looked up at the night sky.

"I love you, too." he sighed.

"I have a very strong urge to rip off that mask and scar whoever you really are, Boy Blunder." she hissed.

"Keep trying, and I'm sure _he _and I will let you know who we are."

"Why? Because your _mommy_ can't do it for you?"

Batgirl waited for a sarcastic reply to return from her remark. But when she looked beside her, a hurt Robin was staring down the building instead of a cheeky one.

"I don't have one." he said quietly.

She clenched her jaws, wishing that she'd kept her big mouth shut two minutes ago. Her eyes lowered and couldn't help but to feel sorry.

"I-I'm sorry…I take it back…"

Her arms reached out for a warm embrace. He gave her a weak smile as he accepted the offer.

"Don't worry about it…I'm used to that." Robin said as he dug his chin into her shoulder.

"I'm stupid. Just…don't listen to me and my big mouth."

He looked up, his brows knitted together when he heard what she had said. Their heads were now beside one another, and as he turned his head, his nose almost touched her cheek.

"Don't ever let me hear you say that ever again, Babs."

"I told you to not-"

"Babs, Batgirl…I don't care. I just don't want you to ever doubt yourself ever again.

His voice has lowered down to a whisper as he gazed into her eyes.

_I've hidden this for too long. As Batgirl or Babs, I don't care. I'm thinking this as Dick Grayson, not as Robin. I think…no, I __know__…that I…I_

Barbara had turned her head as well, and now their noses were in danger of touching. Her eyes had widened right in time with her bright cheeks.

_Is it just me, or does this feel like a sudden rush of déjà vu? Now that you mention it…his hair and cheekbones do remind me of someone…it's just the mask that's hiding away something…maybe…blue eyes?_

Dick couldn't let this opportunity pass. Not like it did thirty minutes ago. He tilted his head and leaned in to softly place his lips on top of hers. His eyelids had shut, in order for him to enjoy the feeling of his first kiss. Batgirl, on the other hand, had her eyes wide open. She had let go of his shoulder with one hand, and was about to strike at his cheek. But as his lips began to act with such passion, she lowered her hand along with her eyelids and responded by tangling her fingers into his dark hair.

"Young heroes in love? How sweet!"

Startled, they broke away from each other, immediately standing up and looking around to see who interrupted them. Batgirl looked down the building, to find Poison Ivy being elevated by a growing plant. Below, flowers and trees where sprouting everywhere, releasing green toxins in the air.

"Oh, don't mind me. You two little love birds just go back to smooching while I spread the 'spirit' of Spring around Gotham City." she cooed.

Steam whistled out of Batgirl's ears as she balled her fists.

"Shut up!"

She leapt down from the building, releasing a grappling hook in order for her to swing around Poison Ivy's main plant. A batarang appeared in her hand, and ended being stabbed into the heart of its roots, followed by several others. Robin jumped down beside Ivy, and began throwing punches at her. He threw a smoke pellet down at the plant, making it fade into dark grey. Poison Ivy growled.

"I'LL PUNISH YOU FOR MESSING WITH MOTHER NATURE!"

She violently struck his face, and waved her hand. On her command, a vine that had branches like a hand reached up and wrapped itself around him.

"HEY!"

The vine's hand clobbered over his mouth, eating away the words he was willing to blurt out. Batgirl stopped dead in her tracks and looked up in horror at her trapped co-partner.

"ROBIN!"

Poison Ivy smirked and took his chin above her index finger. The vine had slithered off his face.

"Looks like you had 'fun' with Batgirl over there. Let's see if you'll have 'fun' with me…"

Robin's eyes widened as he grimaced. She was leaning in to give him the kiss of death. He shut his eyes as he struggled to set himself free from the constricting plant.

_God no…not with me…not in front of Babs…not on my birthday…NOT ON MY GOD DAMN BIRTHDAY!_

Just as their lips were about to meet, Batgirl swung in, striking Ivy in the head with her foot. Robin exhaled with relief as he reopened his eyes.

"There is NO way HE is kissing two different girls in one night. He only gets ONE date, and it's not you, Ivy!" she scowled.

Dick's eyebrows lifted inquisitively as soon as he heard those words.

_Did she just take down Poison Ivy to save my life…or because she didn't want to see me get kissed…by another girl?_

Batgirl muttered something before leaping off the top of the plant. She had handcuffed Ivy, who was unconscious. Robin shook his head and realised that he was still getting constricted by the vines.

"Uh…Batgirl? A little…help?"

The only response to his cry of help, was the sound of a sharp blade cutting through a thick object. He looked down to see that she had taken down the main plant, causing the branched ones to die and fade away. Finally, she went up to free him.

"Gee, thanks…you were great out there..." was all that Robin could say.

"Don't mention it."

As soon as he was free, he leapt down after she did, and glanced up at a nearby plant.

"Hey, you missed one."

She looked over and examined the single flower that had sprouted.

"This isn't one of Ivy's plants. This is a blossom…and it looks like to me the first flower of Spring. Isn't it beautiful?"

Robin gazed at her interested expression. Without any thought, he picked the blossom and looked around to see if anyone was surrounding them, to find that the street was empty. He lifted up her cowl and placed the flower in her hair as he shrugged.

"Not as beautiful as you, though."

She looked surprised as she blushed. Then she shot up a grappling hook, and left him standing there, standing and watching her disappear.

_She acts so mysterious when she's Batgirl…even though she knows that I know who she really is…she's so pretty and- wait…she's heading back to the manor, expecting me to be back from my 'meeting'! Holy crap!_

Dick quickly opened the front door before smoothing his black hair back. He sighed with relief when he saw that Barbara hadn't already left. She turned her head and smiled when she saw him looking at her.

"Took you long enough." she teasingly said.

"Hey! It's not like I _want_ to sit and listen to Bruce's lectures!"

"Sure, sure. It's just that you'd do _anything_ to avoid being with me." she chuckled.

"No! N-no…"

Dick's cheeks went red again, remembering the 'almost kiss' she had with him. Her eyes widened as soon as she realised why he had gone quiet. Once again, she spoke up to break the awkwardness.

"U-uh…so…what was the meeting about?"

He walked towards her, and stopped where the stairs and porch met and leaned on the post.

"There was a…plant problem…at Wayne Tech." he replied.

She stood up, just as the commissioner's car pulled over the front and honked twice. He was just about to add a farewell statement, when she grabbed his hand and placed something in it.

"Some plant problem, hey Boy Blunder?"

She smirked before quickly leaving and climbing into her dad's car. Dick looked down at his hand as the car drove away, to see that he was holding a stem…to a flower. _A blossom. _The same one Robin had given to Batgirl. His eyes widened even more when he realised that she had called him 'Boy Blunder'.

_She knows...who I am…she knows who Robin is…_

A grin spread across his lips as he touched them.

…_she knows…who I am…_


	3. Summer

**Four Seasons**

**Chapter 3: Summer**

Barbara knocked on the door of the hotel room. She inhaled a big breathe as she tapped her foot impatiently. Footsteps got louder after the knock. Her eyebrow lifted as twenty-one year old Dick Grayson's head peeped out to look at her.

"Hey, Babs! What brings you here?" he said cheerfully.

"You know _what_."

She opened the door and let herself in. Dick shrugged and shut the door behind him. The window of the hotel room let in the summer sun, making the room look clean and bright. The air conditioner was on, and it made the scenery feel like the inside of a refrigerator. Barbara had a good look around before turning around, looking worried.

"I heard about you and Bruce." she said without question.

His smile had faded into a frown, as he sat down on a table, looking at the floor.

"News travels fast, doesn't it?"

She ignored him and placed her hands on her hips.

"I don't blame you for anything, but don't you think this is a little unfair on him?" she asked.

"Unfair? _Unfair?_ Barbara, look at what he's done to me! He fired me. From Robin. From more than half my childhood. I think it's unfair to _me._ He seems to think that fighting crime is a job. And I was just another tool in his utility belt. Bruce is only one man. He's not the billionaire playboy. He's just Batman. And he never saw any roads besides that one."

He scowled and massaged his forehead. Barbara swallowed before avoiding his anger and began looking around, toying with different objects in the room.

"He cares about you Dick. He took you in when you had nowhere else to go. He _made_ you who you are today."

"Who I _was._" he corrected.

"Bruce _cares _about you. The same way I do. He was just…not thinking straight."

"Babs, he's the Batman. He's _always_ thinking straight."

She sighed and stopped fiddling with the snow globe she'd given him six years ago. He still had it with him, after all those years.

"I can't argue with that." she finally said.

She bit her lip as soon as she read Dick's expression; he'd had enough about this topic. Something caught her eye that lay on a shelf next to a college picture frame. A silver box.

"Hey…what's this?"

She picked it up and looked in it. Dick stood up and joined her.

"O-oh…that? Just a little memory box.

Barbara peeked in and scanned the items in the box. There was a picture of him and some college mates, a few other photos and ornaments. She smiled when she noticed a familiar dried up blossom, flattened and in a small container. Under everything, was her little orange scarf she'd given to him when they were children. Though, her smile faded when she saw a photo of him and a tall tanned lady. They were kissing in front of a beautiful park. She realised that it was him and one of the other Teen Titans…_Starfire…_

"You like it?" Dick asked.

"Huh? Oh…yeah…it…it's great."

She handed him his box and went to sit down on his bed, looking down and cleaning her nails. Dick looked confused as he placed the box down on a table.

"Time is passing by…and I don't even want to know what's going to happen in the future." Barbara said quietly.

Dick looked worried as he walked over to her.

"I don't care about what's going to happen in the future…now that I've gotten myself stuck in this situation. Just as long as my future still has our friendship in it."

She still looked bothered. He looked down at her, feeling afraid. He missed that smile that she always gave him to clear his mind and help him feel belonged. As it seems, he was in danger again, because that happiness was missing, and he had to bring it back. He grabbed two pens, and two sticky note packs. Barbara looked curious.

"What on earth are you doing?"

Dick ignored her and placed one of each object down on her lap. He stared into her eyes, begging for her to look at him in order to show him truth.

"Tell me, Babs. Tell me why our friendship is true."

She opened her mouth to protest, but he placed a finger on her lips and looked down at the pen and stick notes.

"Write it down. So whenever I forget, you'll remind me."

She lowered her eyes, and picked up the pen and sticky notes.

"Then, what are yours for?"

He looked at his own pair of stationary.

"In case _you_ ever forget, I'll make sure I'll remind you."

Barbara smiled, making Dick's heart race. There was that smile again. _His_ smile. The one that brightened his whole world again. The one that purified his heart.

"You're too cheesy, Wing-nut."

"It's _Nightwing_, babe."

"You're never too serious for too long." she laughed as she began to scribble down something.

"Not when _you're _around."

"Then I should halt stopping by and visiting then?

"Aww, you know I _hate _being serious!"

Barbara whacked him on the head after rolling her eyes. He chuckled as he began writing down some notes. It wasn't long before both of them had filled up several pieces of sticky notes. Each time they'd finish a piece, they'd remove it and add it to their individual piles. The two piles of neatly placed sticky notes looked like mini rainbow towers. 

"I'm done."

Dick looked up to see her smiling and flicking through her notes. His lips crumbled down to a grin too, unresisting the happiness that exposed to him. Then he noticed that her foot was tapping impatiently, motioning for him to stop daydreaming and finish off his notes.

"Alright, alright. I'll hurry."

He looked down to the last note, and realised that he had absolutely nothing to say. Nothing was going in his mind at the moment, because a remarkably beautiful woman was staring at him, waiting for him to touch the tip of the pen onto the paper.

"What's the matter, Grayson? Ran out of puns to write down?" Barbara snickered.

"Meh."

His eyes wondered from the paper, and seemed to stop at his memory box which was sitting on his bedside table. He remembered the reason why he put those things in there; because he _wanted_ to remember. Thinking hard, he figured that some of the objects in there didn't really belong. And some of them, were _made _for his box. Like his memories from college, his friend…and…Barbara… He had so many feelings for her. Shyness. Friendship. Admiration. And even that small, wanting-to-bloom love. Love…love?

Finally, the tip on his pen began to release some ink onto the paper.

_-My feelings for you seemed always clear. But you took them as only friendship. If only I could tell you how much I long to hold you in my arms, and tell you all the things I wanted to. _

_You're probably sick of hearing me say thank you, and apologize for many things. Well, too bad. So sue me._

_Thankyou for being a friend. Thankyou for being a partner. Thankyou for catching my falls. Thankyou grasping my hand. Thankyou for giving me strength._

_And I'm sorry. For what ever hurtful things I will do in the future. I promise that I'll be there, and I'll shield you from whatever danger dares to touch you._

As soon as he finished, he slowly peeled the last note off the cardboard back, and added it to his pile. He smiled with satisfaction as lay down on the floor and stared up at the ceiling. Barbara tossed her pile of sticky notes directly as his face, which made him sit up again.

"Hey!"

He shook his hair as he tossed his pile onto her lap.

"I can't wait to see what you wrote about me."

Just as he was about to read the first page, he noticed that Barbara wasn't read hers. Instead, she slipped it into one of her jean pockets and began to gaze out the window.

"A-aren't you going to read what I wrote?" Dick asked.

She smiled and looked down at him.

"I'll wait until I need to read them."

Dick raised his eyebrows in surprised, but then lowered them again when he finally understood what she was on about.

"Me too."

The both grinned at each other. Suddenly, Barbara's phone started beeping. Her lips lost their sharpness as she frowned when she flipped it open.

"_He _needs a word with me."

He pressed his lips together as soon as he realised who _he_ was.

"I'll call you?"

He nodded in agreement as she closed the door behind her. Dick looked back at the notes that she just wrote for him. Every nerve in his body screamed at him to just read the words from her mind. But he told himself that it wasn't time. Instead, he grabbed the notes, stood up and found himself in front of his memory box. His fingers lifted the lid and hesitated before laying it on top of the pile. A sigh escaped as he stared at the picture of him and Kory at the park. He picked up the photo and swapped it for the notes. At that moment, the only woman in his life was the one who was always there for him.


	4. Fall

**Four Seasons**

**Chapter 4: Fall**

A dark shadow stood by the window of Dick's apartment. He didn't look surprised though. The figure came into the moonlight and revealed the jagged ends of a cape.

"Three years, huh? That long to finally reconcile with me?" Dick remarked.

Bruce removed his cowl to reveal his famous cold stare. Dick knew this meant no fun and games. He sighed and removed his domino mask.

"What brings you to the humble hospitality of my apartment?"

Dick frowned as he didn't reply. Instead, he just stood staring at his Nightwing symbol on his chest. Finally, after a few cold minutes, Bruce opened his mouth to speak.

"You and Koriand'r are going to be wedded next month?"

"Wow, you come all this way just to ask me something you already knew the answer to?"

His sarcasm dropped down a level along with his sigh.

"Yes, Kory and I are getting married."

Bruce's eyebrows cornered toward each other.

"Did you think of telling Barbara?"

His former sidekick's eyes widen.

"I-I forgot all about-"

"The wedding was decided three months ago, and you didn't bother to think about her?" he snapped.

"What's with all the coldness, Bruce? It's not like she won't live to hear me tell her."

Dick's words seemed to tape Bruce's mouth closed. But it soon slowly opened.

"Maybe she won't. Dick, Barbara's been shot."

His heart skipped a few beats. He felt like he'd been stabbed a trillion times in the chest, and he'd been left to bleed without signs of mercy. The walls in his mind began to collapse and meddle with his thoughts.

"Y-you're kidding right?"

Bruce just stared straight through his soul. Dick rushed to grab his coat and keys, until Bruce grasped hold of his arm to stop him.

"She was shot two months ago."

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped with horror.

"Oh my God…Bruce…is she…"

"She was in hospital for four weeks, enough for the doctors to understand that she'd been paralysed from hip down."

Dick scowled at himself and clenched his jaw. The anger inside him was screaming to burst out. His fists balled so tightly, his knuckles were pure white.

"Who did it?"

He wanted to know who shot her. He wanted to know, so he could slaughter whoever hurt his best friend, and the woman he'd longed to pour his heart out to.

"Joker,"

Dick reached for his mask.

"There's no point. He's been locked up in Arkham."

"Lock up? Locked up? He should be MORE than just locked up! Bruce, he deserves more punishment! Barbara could've...she...could've..."

"Is that what Barbara would've wanted? To see you kill someone in order to avenge something that happened months ago?"

Before Dick could reply with pure rage, Bruce slipped his cowl back on and leapt out the window, disappearing into the night. Dick angrily kicked over a table, accidently breaking a few glass objects, including a certain picture frame. He knelt on one knee to see what he had just broken, and showed no sign of care when he saw that it was the picture of Kory and him. He placed the broken fragments on the table and slumped his body against his mattress. He didn't care that he was still in his suit. He only cared for Barbara.

_Why? Out of all the people in the world, why did the Joker have to shoot her?_

He stared at the ceiling and scowled and cursed himself to sleep, gripping the pillow so tight he ripped the case. He was so full of guilt and pain; he hoped that he never opened his eyes ever again.

_Dick? Hello? Are you there?_

Barbara's voice woke him up, making him sit up straight and look around with the room frantically. He was full with disappointment when he realised it was just an echo in his mind. The moon was still out, and he glanced over to his alarm clock. But it wasn't there. Instead of his bedside table, stood a pine tree that was covered in snow at the top. Then he turned around to look out the window. The problem was, there was no window. He was outside, sitting in the middle of what seemed like a park…in the middle of winter.

"Hello?" he called.

His voice seemed to echo. And also, it was unusually high and squeaky. When he went to look at him hands, they seemed surprisingly…small….and covered in fabric. He realised he was wearing gloves. And a familiar woolly coat with warm pants and black boots. His eyes widened. The clothing seemed too small for a man of his age.

_It's impossible…what….happened…why am I even here?_

He stood up and looked around, soon ending up near a frozen pond. His reflection was clear, as he studied it. To his shock, his face was…smaller….and he looked younger….just like he when he was a young child. He analysed the park harder, and his understandings became clearer.

_I'm at the park…after my parents died…where I played with Babs when I was smaller…_

The quiet surrounding was suddenly interrupted by a deafening sob. It was loud and echoing, but soft and high at the same time. Dick was frightened of the noise, but a part of him wanted to follow it. He began to weave through the tall snowy trees and trail behind the crying. A sniff was heard just a meter in front of him. He quietly hid behind a tree.

"H-hello? Who's there?"

Dick bravely poked his head from behind his hiding place and gasped when he saw what was making the sobbing. Or _who, _in this case.

"B-Barbara? I-is that you?"

A younger Barbara was huddling herself on the cold, frozen snow. She hid her face in her lap as she cried. With every breathe she took, the trees seemed to blow with it. Dick immediately threw himself beside her and knelt down, putting a hand on her shoulder. She was cold, even though she was wearing a coat. His fingers felt numb against her, but he didn't care.

"Why are you crying? Speak to me!"

She didn't hear him. Instead, she continued to sob, as if that was her response. Dick's eyes began to lower along with his volume.

"Why are you sad?" he asked quietly and gently.

Barbara sniffed, but didn't look up.

"Are you sad...because of...me?"

She looked up, but turned her face away from him, so he wouldn't see her tears. He grabbed her shoulder gently, wanting to turn her around so he could see her face.

"Barbara? Babs?"

To his horror, she looked up. It wasn't because she didn't want him to see her cry, it was because she didn't want him to see who she was. Or _he _was.

"Oi kid! Whatcha doin'?"

Dick flinched back, his eyes widened with shock. It wasn't Barbara anymore. Sneering in his face, was the boy who was making fun of him on that same day; Ralph.

"Remember me? Of course ya do! Hey! Gimme that scarf!"

Dick looked down. Barbara's orange scarf was around his neck, keeping him warm.

"I said GIMME!"

Ralph began to pull on one end, tightening it around Dick's neck. The more he pulled, the more constricted Dick became.

"S-stop! Y-you're strangling me!"

But all that did was make the bully laugh and sneer in his face even more.

"Who's gonna save you now, hey?"

He kicked snow into Dick's eyes and pushed him to the ground face first. Dick felt his chest beginning to throb. Ralph's laughter began to grow louder and sharper every second, causing Dick to let go of the scarf to block his ears. He wanted it to stop. He wanted him to stop. He wanted Barbara to come to his rescue.

He opened his mouth to scream out her name, but his lungs felt like they ran out of air. His throat felt like it was shrinking, and it was harder to breathe. It seemed impossible, however Ralph was still pulling. Dick's world began to blacken out, and so seemed his life. But the horror didn't stop there.

He opened up his eyes to see that the scenery had changed. He was now standing on a tall sky scraper, one that was awfully familiar. Dick took a few steps, stopping dead at one point when he heard a crunch under his foot. He lifted it up, looking at what he had just stepped on. It was a blossom, though instead of fresh and beautiful, it was all dried up and shrivelled. He laid it on his hand, noticing that his palm was a bit bigger than before.

"WHO'S GONNA SAVE YOU NOW?"

Dick was startled by the shout, as he turned around. He stopped halfway through his moment to relocate the image he caught in the corner of his eye. It was his reflection in the window. He had grown at least ten inches, and looked older. Suddenly, he was distracted by a waves of redness, right behind him as he saw in the window. It looked like hair, blowing in the breeze. He spun around to see a girl on the edge of the building, looking down at the city below.

"B-Babs?"

He was afraid that it was another illusion again, just like before. But his shoulders dropped with relief when he saw that it was Barbara's face. The thing was, she didn't seem to notice that he was there. She was too busy...trying to get free.

"There's no one here to help you Batgirl! It's the end of you tonight!"

Poison Ivy stood beside her, laughing evilly. Batgirl was tied up from shoulder to ankle by a thick wild vine that constricted her tightly.

"Batgirl! Hang on, I'll save you!"

He began to sprint towards her, but Ivy noticed too soon. She kicked her off the platform and watched with wickedness as she fell.

"NOOOO!"

Dick looked down below, and his hand felt around for his utility belt. But it wasn't there. Without thought, he dived down after her, suddenly seeing that he was falling down towards darkness. The closer he got to the ground, the more he wondered if there really was a ground. His mouth opened to scream, but once again, he was out of breath. Barbara was nowhere to be seen. All he could see was darkness.

All of a sudden, he fell down on his back, laying down, staring at the blackness around him. Something appeared in the corner. It was Barbara again. And she looked older, early in her adulthood. Dick didn't want anything horrible to happen again, so he quickly stood up and ran towards her. He put a hand on her shoulder and spun her around. Her face was all he wanted to see at that moment. He wanted her to heal all these terrible things that shot at him, like...bullets...

"Barbara...God...I'm so happy to see you at last...and to touch you..."

His hand felt her cheek, which was stone cold and wet. She'd been crying again. He felt so guilty inside, realising all the things that he'd done to her. She was always there for him, but he was never there for her. He couldn't make her happy. He couldn't catch her fall. And he couldn't be her man.

"Babs...say something."

His eyes widened, begging and longing to hear her soft comforting voice. It had been ages since he'd heard her voice. He didn't even have the thought of calling her up on her cell. That's how careless he was. He had everything in front of him all along, but he was so blind. For all these years.

"Babs? B-Barbara?"

Her hand reached up to caress the side of his face. He gasped when he saw that it was covered in glistening blood, and backed away with fear. The blackness was suddenly blinking with light, revealing walls that were covered in red writing. The whole room filled with bright lights, haunting Dick's thoughts as he read the messages.

_I thought you were my friend...you promised...I loved you all along...how could you do this to me...we were so close...I could've died...you never said goodbye...you never...said...goodbye..._

The words echoed in his brain, causing him to fall to his knees with Barbara standing in front of him, letting the blood drip from her hand.

_...You...friend...promised...never...loved..._

Something was screaming those words at him, making his chest suffer. It felt like the whole world was heaving on him.

_...so close...died...goodbye...goodbye.. goodbye..._

"Goodbye, Dick."

Dick looked up, his cheeks wet and his eyes watery. A gun was put to her head as she stared at him blankly.

"Goodbye." she repeated gently.

A white face appeared behind her. The Joker laughed and put a finger onto the trigger. Blood continued to drip from her hand, as Barbara waved.

"I loved you." she whispered.

The Joker laughed harder as Dick reached his hand out.

_...goodbye...I loved you...goodbye..._

"NOOOOOO!"

BANNG!

"BARBARA!"

Dick shot up from his bed, his forehead all sweaty and his eyes filled with panic. The nightmare made him breath heavily, catching his breath from the terror.

"Barbara..."

He swung his legs over the side of his bed, ignoring the cold that kissed his skin when he removed the covers. He frantically searched for his memory box, the one with all his cherished memories. When his hands grabbed hold of it, he threw the lid off and poured everything out. He grasped hold of the orange scarf she gave him and couldn't help but sob and let tears of sadness out. The shrivelled up blossom lay on the floor, and reminded him of that day where he had his first kiss with that one person he always loved, and longed to be loved back by.

"Oh, Barbara." he sobbed quietly.

His hands shook as he retrieved the notes that she wrote. He'd been so eager to read them for months, but he never wanted to break any of the promises he made with her. His fingers peeled one off, and he prayed that it wouldn't break his heart.

_You were always there for me, even if you knew it or not._

He stopped crying for a few minutes, the air caught in the middle of his throat. He peeled off another one.

_You're not a moron. You're my best friend._

Another.

_I never met a man quite like you._

Another.

_Like a new flower in my life._

And another.

_I know you'd never let me down. Never_

His breathing became hallow and long, feeling filthy with shame.

_More than just a friend. Another heart and soul._

_Your smile brings sweetness to my bitter tears._

_I don't care how friendly or sweet a smile is, if it's not yours, it's not special at all._

_No matter how much of a coward you are, you never fail to amuse me._

The notes were scattered on the floor. Dick was too caught up in Barbara's messages. He didn't have the guts to smile. Because he knew that he was a coward. For letting her down. Someone like her didn't deserve to be friends with someone like him. The pile was almost done, and there were just six left.

_Believe. _

Dick was confused. Believe? In what? He had nothing else left to believe in. His whole world was a failure.

_Don't give up._

It was over. He already gave up.

_There's always another chance._

Another tear dripped down from his chin.

_Because I'm always here. No matter what._

He stopped breathing.

_I don't care what they say or do. There is always one person that will always love you for who you really are Dick._

His fingers peeled the second last note off, and he immediately dropped it as soon as he read the last note.

_Me._

His mind broke down. His heart stopped beating. His soul shut down. Dick slammed his fist onto the floor, scowling and crying. She was there all along. Why did he fail to realise?

_She was my conscience, my heart and my soul. She was my __life.__ I'm a coward! I'm an idiot! I'm a failure! I should be the one with a bullet in me. She shouldn't. It could've been me. It __should've__ been me._

The thoughts cried in him, making him hurt so badly inside. The walls in him where piercing through, and killed him emotionally.

_I loved you Barbara. I still do, and I always have. You've given me so many things. More than just a scarf, a flower and kindness. You gave me strength. Heart. Pride. Knowledge. And it's about time I give you something in return._

Dick gritted his teeth together as he slammed his fist on the floor once more.

_Love._


End file.
